


And I will hold you closer, Hope your heart is strong enough

by namelesswriter



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Male Lactation, Mpreg, Pregnant Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-23 00:44:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7459974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namelesswriter/pseuds/namelesswriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry’s spent the last week worrying. About the baby that he is in fact carrying, about his life post grad, about how he’s going to tell him mom. But mostly about Louis. Louis can’t know about the pregnancy. He’s a professor and would lose his job if any of this becomes public.</p><p>Or, where Harry gets pregnant after a one night stand while at university. Instead of ruining his life it just makes it all the much better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I will hold you closer, Hope your heart is strong enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweaterpawstyles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweaterpawstyles/gifts).



> Thanks to Abby for arranging this exchange and your tireless efforts!
> 
> I apologize for not fulfilling every detail of the prompt - and for my inability to write consistent angst, but I hope this is suitable :)

September 9th

“I’ll get that” rings out in a strange voice from somewhere behind Harry.

“No, No, it’s fine” Harry’s not really in the mood to flirt tonight, just wanted a quick drink after a long day. He’d specifically gone to a bar away from campus to avoid the drunken college students and the song and dance of college hook-ups in bars.

“Seriously, no obligation” At this Harry turns around, and he’s instantly captivated by the gorgeous blue eyes staring back at him, he might actually want to talk to this stranger after all.

“Thanks, I’m Harry” 

“Louis” the no-longer stranger says as he takes the next seat over.

Neither are really sure how it happens. Harry doesn’t take time for rational thought as he and Louis rush into his bed. A mess of limbs and dirty talk and the feeling of ecstasy. They come together breathing heavily against each other’s mouths, too consumed with pleasure to complete the actual kiss.

“That was fun” Harry comments as they pull apart.

“It was” Louis leans up to meet Harry’s mouth in a long kiss.

The turn over so Louis is cuddling behind Harry kissing gently at his ear. “So what’re you doing Manchester?”

“I’m at the university, it’s my final year.”

“Oh.” There’s a distinct sense of discomfort in Louis’ tone as he pulls away from Harry. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m a… I’m a professor at Manchester, started over the summer.” Louis gets out, clearly unsure how to proceed from here.

“Well, you’re not my professor… so this wasn’t too bad, right?” Harry’s tone is trepid, knowing the right answer but not ready to admit it.

“I … you’re amazing Harry, and I’d love to get to know you better.” Harry knows what’s coming next, so he cuts Louis off, preferring to hear the truth from his own mouth.

“You’re a professor, I’m an undergrad” Harry’s tone is depressed as he reasons with Louis against his instincts. 

“This shouldn’t happen again” They stare at each other for a few seconds “This shouldn’t have happened.”

Louis looks Harry in the eye before responding “Harry, I should have stopped this. I shouldn’t have put you in this position. Whatever you need to do, tell the dean, publicly shame me, I’ll accept my consequences. I’m so so sorry.”

Harry’s response is to kiss him again, which wasn’t exactly what Louis intended. “I don’t regret it for one second” Harry draws him into another kiss. “Don’t you ever feel bad about this. I won’t tell anyone.”

Harry kisses the side of Louis’ mouth. It’s short and sweet and they both wish it could be more.

*****

October 14th - 8 weeks

Two months into the fall semester, it’s normal for Harry to be tired. But this feels extreme. He recused himself of any partying with Liam and Niall last weekend. An abundance of sleep later and he remains lethargic in the mornings, sluggish throughout the day and falling asleep readily before 11pm. 

He hasn’t felt well rested for about two weeks when the nausea sets in. It’s slow at first, a small twinge at the scent of coffee on Tuesday, a hiccup at the garlic fries on Thursday. 

The next Sunday Harry wakes up miserable. It’s four AM, he’s hunched over the toilet, and he’s generally regretting whatever it is he ate to make this happen. Which is actually a small list of mostly stomach safe foods that his mom had recommended when he’d complained of an upset tummy earlier in the week.

“I love you, you know that, right?” It’s ten hours later and Harry, wrapped in a blanket and curled up in front of reruns of some medical drama, is already afraid of what’s going to come out of Niall’s mouth next. He gives an affirmative grunt telling Niall to go on.

“And because I care about you, I need to ask you something” that makes Harry look up, wide eyes as Niall looks apologetic and terrified.

“You’re exhausted, you’re nauseous, but you have like no other symptoms” their facial expressions remain the same, except for a small blink of Harry’s that tells Niall to get on with it.

“Would it maybe possibly be a good idea to take a pregnancy test”

And there it is. Harry shuts his eyes, bargaining with himself that if he can’t see Niall, what he said doesn’t actually exist.

“No” Harry ends the conversation, curling back into the couch and returning his focus to the TV.

*****

October 21st - 9 weeks

It’s a week later and Niall’s words are weighing heavily on Harry. He’d known it was a possibility when Niall asked. But he’s always had a sensitive stomach, and his thesis is exhausting. Nothing is too far out of the ordinary.

Except that after last night’s shower Harry had to air dry his chest because the towel had been painful to run over his nipples. There was no explaining that one.

So Harry found himself in a CVS after his morning seminar, looking at the different brands of early pregnancy tests.

A middle aged woman passes by in front of him, a short look of pity crosses her eyes before she moves on. Harry quickly grabs two boxes. The store brand and a mid-priced name brand one with a digital display. It looks fancy. If Harry’s going to find out that he’s becoming a parent today, he at least wants a digital display.

*****

October 31st - 10 weeks

Harry’s spent the last week worrying. About the baby that he is in fact carrying, about his life post grad, about how he’s going to tell him mom. But mostly about Louis. Louis can’t know about the pregnancy. He’s a professor and would lose his job if any of this becomes public. Harry has no doubts that Louis would do the right thing, but he shouldn’t lose everything because of Harry.

Harry’s also been worrying about Halloween. He always goes to Niall’s party, and he always gets drunk there. He should confide in Niall but he’s not ready. So he needs to make a plan to avoid getting drunk.

“What’s up mate?” Niall’s fairly trashed already, so Harry’s plan of showing up late has worked thus far. 

“Not much, just gonna go grab a drink” Harry quickly ducks into the kitchen before Niall can follow. He pours himself a sprite, which has the bonus of settling his stomach. 

He makes small talk with friends, nursing his sprite and avoiding anyone trying to hand out drinks. It works well until around midnight when the exhaustion from the week hits him readily. 

“Mate why are you leaving already?” He’d really expected no less from Niall.

“Just gonna go back and sleep, it’s been a long week” Harry is hoping none of this seems too out of the ordinary, though he knows it is.

“Just… let’s catch up tomorrow, ‘kay?” Harry nods in response and decides to be glad that Niall’s a good friend, though he can also be annoyed at his perceptiveness.

Harry takes the elevator back to his floor, slipping a hand to unbutton his pants when he’s sure nobody’s looking. He’s started to accept that the bloating that’s been plaguing his waistline is really a baby, and it won’t be going away.

*****

November 7th - 11 weeks

It’s two weeks since Harry’s found out he’s going to be a parent and the news has started to sink in. He’s gone from completely freaked out and nervous to mostly freaked out and nervous with a side of excitement. He’s always loved children and wanted to become a father. But he needed to start making actual plans. He wasn’t quite ready to tell his mom, but he was ready for the challenge of coming clean to Niall. Especially because his friends were fully suspicious of Harry no longer joining them at the bars and opting out of drinks when in their apartments.

A knock on the door announced Niall’s arrival. Harry still hadn’t planned how he was going to break the news to him, and when he walked through the door none of that mattered, because Harry blurted out a rapid “You were right, I’m pregnant.” 

The look on Niall’s face indicated that he needed to sit down, quickly, before he’s passed out on the floor.

Once they had moved to the couch Harry explained meeting Louis in the bar, finding out that he was a professor in his department, the subsequent fatigue and nausea and how he had confirmed via home test just two weeks ago. 

Niall is supportive, of course, calling dibs on god-father. Harry quickly obliges (there’d be no doubt of that, anyways).

Their normal changes, as Niall begins bringing up nutrient rich foods and trying to find alternatives to drinking. Liam takes it in stride when he’s told that night, offering a gentle “congratulations” and “we’re all gonna be here for you.” 

After Liam’s gone to a bar to meet other friends, Harry comes clean about the baby’s other father.

“Holy fuck, I’ve seen him around campus, he’s hot!” Niall is straight but has always joined Harry in ranking the attractiveness of other men, and Harry’s glad for this small point of commiseration in these awkward moments.

“I think I really like him.” Harry’s got a hand on his belly and looks Niall in the eye. “It just really sucks that we can’t actually be together.”

“It’ll all work out, Harry. You’ll tell him at some point, and if he’s as likable as you say it’ll all work it.”

Harry can only hope Niall is right.

*****

November 14th - 12 weeks

“I conceived ten weeks ago, so I should be twelve weeks pregnant.”

“It’s helpful that you can pinpoint the date of conception, but we’ll also confirm with blood work an ultrasound. Right now though let’s get your height and weight down so you can walk me through the last ten weeks.” Harry is grateful to have such a calming doctor. He’s anxious and having a hard time controlling his emotions, he needs more than anything somebody he can be honest with and hopefully Dr. Gallant can fill that role.

Harry allowed Dr. Gallant to get his height, weight, and a vile of blood for testing, now he’s bursting at the seams to see his baby and make sure everything is alright. “This is unplanned, I mean you can probably tell that because I don’t have a partner and this baby is probably screwing up my whole life.”

“Harry, if you want to talk about your options we can.” 

“No, absolutely not. I mean I know it seems like this baby is ruining everything for me but it’s also the most important thing. I’ll be raising this baby and my life will just have to change. Making that decision has been the only easy part of this for me.”

“Okay, so you’re having a baby, Harry, it’s totally normal to be worried, it just shows how much you care. You can always raise your concerns here, or I can recommend some support groups that might help you.”

“Thanks, I really appreciate it.” Harry’s smiles confirms his gratitude, though he’s not entirely sure he’s ready to talk to a room full of strangers about getting knocked up by his professor. 

“What do you say we do an ultrasound and see this baby?”

*****

November 28th - 14 weeks

As predicted, Harry’s belly has continued to push outwards. Containing his jeans with a hair tie had worked for a few weeks, but by now he has a few pairs of paternity skinny jeans in rotation. While difficult to accept at first, the band that supported his small belly without leaving angry red marks was his most comfortable option at this point.

Today was was the day of his second appointment and he couldn’t wait. Niall had agreed to attend with him, to act as a second set of eyes and ears. Specifically to gather all of the information needed for Harry to fully come clean to him mom. She was becoming a grandmother, he at least wanted to give her that information with a due date and the knowledge that her grandbaby (and her baby) were doing well. She’d be angry either way, but Harry hoped her love would triumph the angry quickly. He’d settle for dissapointed at this point.

A knock signaled that Niall was ready to head to the doctor’s office.

“So, Harry, how are we doing?” The doctor’s voice was gentle, but her concern over Harry’s entire situation was evident.

“I’m actually really good. I still haven’t told many people, but I’m just getting more excited for this baby and feel more and more like this is actually something I’ll be able to do every day.” He’s telling the truth, his child is already the thing he cherishes most in this world. “And I’m gonna tell my mom when we get a little more information with this appointment. She’ll not be happy, but she’ll come around.”

“That’s wonderful, Harry. I’m glad things are getting better for you. Let’s take a look at this little one, shall we?” 

“Yes, it’ll be cold, right?” Harry returns, bracing for the gel.

The doctor smiles before moving the wand over his lower belly, “Everything’s looking really good. Development’s right on track, placenta looks good, heart beat’s strong, ready to hear it?”

Harry and Niall both not enthusiastically at the offer. 

As the thump, thump, thump filled the room Harry’s eyes quickly filled with tears, reaching out to touch his belly before he reached the doctor’s arms instead and remembered he’d have to wait a few more minutes. Niall’s face is nearly as happy, reaching out for Harry’s and admonishing over “That’s your baby, Harry, your baby” over and over again.

*****

December 5th - 15 weeks

“Mum, do you have a few minutes to talk?” Harry’s voice is fragile, begging, through the phone.

“Of course honey, I have to grab some groceries at some point today but I have as long as you need.”

“I” Harry’s voice starts to break again “I, need to tell you something, mom, before I go home for Christmas break” 

“You can tell me anything, love, please don’t be afraid.”

“I’m pregnant” 

“Wow” She’s clearly trying to moderate her tone. “How far along?” Anne’s voice isn’t angry, but she’s certainly not happy with this news.

“15 weeks. I’m due 20th of June” Harry’s voice is firm but starts to crack as he continues “The only decision I’ve made is that I’m keeping the baby.”

“So you’ve been to the doctor?”

“I went last week, the baby’s growing well, doing little flips in there, and the heartbeat god, mom, the heartbeat” Harry is near tears as he remembers hearing his baby’s heartbeat “I love them already, they’re so perfect.” At this point Harry is in tears. Anne lets him cry for a bit as she composes herself.

“We’re gonna figure this out H. Why don’t you focus on finishing the semester strong and keeping my grandchild healthy and we’ll figure things out when you’re home for Christmas.”

“I love you mom” Harry chokes out through the tears.

“Get some rest, love you and that little baby so much. Everything’s going to be okay.”

Harry has a good cry before settling in for a nap, a weight lifted off of him now that his mom knows and isn’t going disown him. 

*****

December 12th - 16 weeks

Harry’s belly is forcing him almost exclusively into paternity clothes, the stretchy fabrics a godsend against his expanding body. Which is how he ends up at the mall in the middle of the week, desperate for a few essentials to keep from doing laundry every few days. Exhausted and sore, he just wants to get what’s on his list and home to his bed (hopefully with a new body pillow).

Getting over the hurdle of telling his mom had freed him from most of his anxiety, but it had also opened up room for anxiety over Louis’ finding out and given him more time to fixate on just how uncomfortable pregnancy could be. While his morning sickness had stayed at bay save for when he was around seafood, back pain had settled in its place. The internet had told him to sleep with a pillow tucked between his legs, which had helped, but the the body pillows seemed too enticing not to try. 

His mum’s been calling nearly every day, giving him someone to talk to besides Niall. Yesterday had been the first time Anne had broached the topic of the other father. Harry’s curt reply of “Somebody from school. I don’t want to talk about him” was punctuated by him leaving the call shortly after, leaving it clear to his mum that wasn’t something he would entertain questions on for the time being.

Harry needs Robin to know before he’s home next week, so he initiates the call tonight.

“Harry, how are you feeling?” There’s no anger in her voice over their call yesterday.

“Pregnant” is Harry’s short reply, he laughs a bit before continuing “Back feels like it’s about to snap in half and I’m halfway through a pint of ice cream.” 

“I remember those days”

“I bought a pregnancy pillow today, I’m ridiculously excited at the prospect of a good night’s sleep.”

“They’re truly magical, I didn’t use one until the third trimester with Gemma, broke it out right away with you though.”

Harry’s grateful they’ve slipped back into their comfortable companionship. But he needs to broach this next topic before he loses any confidence he’s built up.

“You haven’t told Robin yet have you, you would’ve told me if you have?” 

“I wasn’t sure what you wanted?”

“Can you tell him before I’m home next week? I’d just feel better if he wasn’t surprised by the belly.”

“Of course love, I’ll sit him down tonight.” They sit in silence as Anne tries to compose her next sentence. They’ve been avoiding the big topics, but Robin’s going to have questions and she needs to clarify Harry’s living arrangements with the baby before approaching this with him.

“You know that I’m going to support you in any way possible, I was thinking you’d move back in after school. Was that your plan?”

“It was, I don’t think I’ll be able to work until the baby’s at least a few months old. Once we’re there I’ll try to find a job and move out when I can.”

“There’ll be no rush love, you’re always welcome here, and that goes for your child as well.”

“I just don’t want to be a burden.” Harry’s voice is starting to crack. He’s eternally grateful for his mom’s support, but he can’t help feeling like a screw up. He shouldn’t be moving back in with her with in infant, unable to work right out of college. It’s not her burden to bare, but he knows that’s what’ll be best for his baby, much better than finding a run-down apartment in a bad neighborhood and trying to make ends meet.

“You won’t be. When were you planning on telling your dad?”

“I was thinking we’d sort out some details when I’m back before Christmas and I’d tell him when we see him for boxing day. Gemma’ll make a good buffer. I’m gonna tell her sometime this week, just trying to work up the courage right now.”

“That sounds like a good plan, she’ll be supportive too love, don’t be scared. This baby may be unexpected, but it will be loved by everyone.”

“Thanks mom, the ice cream’s gone so I think I’m going to go try out that pillow. Love you.”

“Love you too”

*****

December 19th - 17 weeks

“Darling, look at you” Anne pulls Harry into a tight hug once he’s barely in the house. No sooner then he’s pulled into the hug he’s pulling away from it quickly explaining his crushed bladder.

His mum takes it all in stride as they settle into the living room, Anne making sure Harry is comfortable before taking a seat next to him and looking him in the eye. 

“We have a lot to discuss, love.” Her voice is loving but firm, confirming to Harry that his days of running away of the questions of the other baby’s father, his plans and how he got into this mess are over.

“Why don’t you start from the beginning?”

“I was having a drink to unwind after a long day. Wasn’t intending for anything to happen but I met someone I hit it off with. We slept together and a few weeks later I felt like shit so I peed on a stick.”

“What else do you know about this stranger?” Anne sounds ready to murder, and Harry can understand why, but he also think he loves Louis and does not want his mom to murder him.

“I found out afterwards that he’s a professor, we agreed not to pursue things.” Harry pauses, wanting his mum to know there’s no reason to think Louis would shy from his responsibilities were he aware. Harry takes a deep breath, exhausted from telling the truth after all this time. “He’ll be such a great dad, I just don’t know how to tell him I’ve ruined his life.”

Anne takes this opportunity to cradle Harry’s head and tell him everything will be okay. She follows with a “If he’s as good a man as you say he won’t see a child as ruining his life. If he steps up everything will be okay, and if he chooses not to his job just really isn’t that worth protecting.”

“It felt different, mum, I really like him, I want this family with him but what if he doesn’t want it? What if he abandons us?”

“You are going to be just fine whether or not Louis takes on his responsibility. You are so caring and generous, this baby is so lucky to have you in its life and I hope Louis is a good guy, but you don’t need him for one second if he doesn’t want to be there.”

“Maybe we should take these conversations on a bit at a time, how about a nap before we figure out dinner?” She needs time to compose herself after the news the father of her grandchild is her son’s professor, a nap would be good for both of them.

“I just need to get my pillow from the car, felt like an idiot carrying it out there but it’s so worth it once I’m lying down.”

“I’ll get your things love, head upstairs and get situated.” 

 

*****

January 13th - 21 weeks

Dressed in paternity skinny jeans and a flowery top that did nothing to hide his belly, Harry entered the psychology floor ready for his final semester at school and ready for his pregnancy to become obvious to his fellow students. He had heard whispers towards the end of last semester, but there was no denying at this point.

Ever constant need to pee, Harry was walking swiftly towards the restroom with a singular goal at this moment, which lead to him missing Louis washing his hands as he walked towards to closet urinal.

“Harry, good to see you” Louis voice was startling. Harry decided to wait to respond until he was ready to wash his hands.

“Good to see you too, Professor Tomlinson” 

“You know that you can you can call me Louis” Louis voice was gentle, timid as he continues “It sure looks like you’ve got a lot going on” 

“Yeah” Harry rubs his belly and smiles “very exciting” He knows that Louis knows it’s probably his, but he’s going to carry on normally for as long as possible.

“When are you due?” Louis knows he’s walking a thin line right now, but he needs to know.

“June 20th, gonna be a busy summer” Harry fully expects Louis to do the math, that his secret will be up in a few minutes.

“Wow, Congratulations, Harry, you’ll be an absolutely wonderful father” Louis is holding back, they both know it, he starts to continue but Harry cuts him off.

“Thanks, see you around.”

*****

“Welcome to your Thesis Seminar, Seniors” rings Louis’ voice from the door.

Shit. It had been Professor Candor on the schedule, Louis’ thesis seminar was on Wednesday’s at 3pm. Not Tuesday’s at 10:30. No. This wasn’t happening.

“I know the schedule listed Professor Candor but due to last minute schedule changes I’ll be your professor for the next few months. I know you’re seniors and I’m a new face around here, so let’s start with a short ice breaker. You’ll say your name, where you’re from, a fun fact, and your thesis topic.” Louis is confident as he moves towards the table, Harry’s quite sure he hasn’t been spotted yet.

He keeps his head down, waiting for his turn, will time to turn back a bit. It doesn’t. Harry knows that Louis is a good man, but the underlying worry about Louis refusing to acknowledge their child is there. This is such a poor circumstance and all Harry wants is for his child to be loved and cherished, he needs Louis to do right by their child. And every moment Harry hesitates in informing Louis is a second where Louis isn’t making the wrong choice. It’s a second that Harry can continue to tell himself that Louis will step up. He needs a few more. But the girl beside him stops talking, he delays a bit more.

“Harry, you’re up” says a voice across the table, a classmate who knew his name. Louis looks like he wanted to prompt but wasn’t willing to give away they already knew each other. Louis doesn’t look angry, just concerned and anxious.

“I’m uh, I’m Harry, I’m from Holmes Chapel, in primary school I was in a band called White Eskimo, and my thesis is a comparison between the treatment of gay adolescents two decades ago versus today.” Harry sighs, settling back into his chair, grateful his classmate to the left must start talking now.

Louis avoids looking Harry in the eye for the rest of class, Harry making minimal contributions and keeping his head down. Though they both steal small looks at the other, it’s clear the conversation from before class will need to continue afterwards.

At the end of class Harry gently pushed himself out of the chair, only needing a little leverage, though he was sure it would become more difficult as the semester progressed and his baby grew. Harry knows this semester will be difficult, juggling the academic work with the demands of pregnancy and preparing for his child, but he’s ready for the challenge. Louis had spent most of the class sneaking looks at Harry when he thought nobody was watching, adding additional complications to Harry’s already stressful next few months. For now, Harry decided to just be grateful that his bladder hadn’t demanded any additional bathroom breaks during the class, and even more grateful that the small seminar room had comfy chairs for them to sit in, giving much more support to his aching back than the regular classroom chairs. 

“Harry, you have a few minutes to talk?” He’d expected nothing less from Louis.

With a deep sigh he responded “Sure, can we stay here or do we need to go to your office?”

“Here’s fine” Harry breathes a deep sigh of relief at Louis’ words. Unlike most professors who have been here for years, Louis’ only has the hard classroom chairs rather than a couch or something more comfortable in his office.

Harry braces himself against the table to return to the chair, he’s really not that big, but his back has had a constant ache from nearly the beginning of his pregnancy, meaning that his movements have been cautious and slow, lending more attention to his changing body than preferred.

“What do you want to talk about?” Harry feels the familiar pressure building on his bladder, he debates asking for a bathroom break but he doesn’t want to draw too much attention to the baby, he knows that’s why Louis wanted to talk in the first place.

“I” Louis starts hesitantly “need to know if the baby’s mine” Louis gets out quickly.

Harry takes a moment to collect himself, hands on his belly as he tries to find the words. He feels a small nudge against his hand. With that he loses it. The baby’s been moving about for weeks, Harry’s felt lots of small movements, but never strong enough for the outside world to feel. Harry doesn’t have any words so instead he grabs Louis’ hands and clamps it to his stomach with his own.

“Yes” Harry adds to the movements that he knows Louis can feel.

“We’re going to find a way to make this work, I’m going to be there for you” Louis makes the exact promise that Harry has been simultaneously afraid of anxious for.

“I know you will, Louis, we should go somewhere more private to talk about this” Louis smiles at Harry’s words as Harry continues “I just need to use the restroom and we can head over to mine.”

Half an hour later and sitting on Harry’s couch, they’re both trying to start the conversation. Harry knows that Louis will go big, so he choses to start.

“I want you to be involved, I know that you’ll do the right thing, I just” Harry needs a moment to collect himself “I just don’t want you to lose things that are important to you because of me.”

“This child is the most important thing to me” Louis is steadfast, Harry knew he would be.

“I know, I still don’t want it to be the reason you lose your job.” Harry is going to protect Louis at all costs, but he knows Louis won’t protect himself so Harry has to give something “Let’s find a way for this all to work.”

Louis takes that opening “First things first, I want to be there for the baby, to change diapers and help with homework and do daycare drop offs and everything about being a parent. But I also want to be with you if you’ll have me.” 

“I want to be with you too” Harry turns into Louis’ body, kissing him on the cheek and then the mouth, Louis is the first to add tongue. It’s exactly what they both needed but Harry is the first to break it off.

“We need to keep in on the downlow until I’m no longer a student, particularly your student.” It’s a reasonable contribution to the conversation, but one that neither likes all that much.

“Can we get you into a different thesis seminar or not take one? That way I won’t be responsible for your grade and we won’t have to tell anyone just yet. I can still help you on the side, of course.” Louis sounded like he was pleading with Harry to find a solution

“My advisor wanted me in a seminar because with the baby finishing up my thesis is gonna be even more complicated than usual. But I can take the one you were originally scheduled for on Wednesdays at 3, it actually worked better for me, I just didn’t know how to tell you, didn’t want you to do something stupid and lose your job for me. ”

“It would have been worth it, but we’ll find a way around around.” Louis shifts towards Harry, holding his hand near the bump and asking permission with his eyes “Everything will work out and this child will be loved and cared for.” Harry nods in agreement as Louis continues “We’ll talk to your advisor, make sure we’re on the same page about everything.” 

“Dr. Lewis is my advisor”

“He likes me and is reasonable. As long as we make it clear we weren’t aware of the other’s connection to the school he’ll be able to come around to this.” Louis sounds relieved that it wasn’t one of the more uptight professors. 

“I don’t really know what I’m doing after school ends. M’due about a month after graduation. Not really sure how to go about getting a job.”

“Will you move in with me?” The question is mostly unrelated but Louis wants to know.

“I’m sure we can work something out” Harry breaks the serious tone of the conversation by kissing Louis once again before returning to the substantive details “Not sure how the finances can work.”

Louis scoffs, “We’ll be partners Harry, support one another, we’ll find a way that works for us.”

Harry has no response other than to kiss Louis.

Louis ends up staying with Harry that night, spending several minutes kneeled at Harry’s feet and whispering to the baby, both of them enchanted by the movements coming with frequency. 

Harry spends several hours catching Louis up on the pregnancy. Admitting his fears and hopes, telling Louis about the doctor’s appointments, pointing Louis to the fridge to find the ultrasound, which Louis quickly asks permission to keep in his wallet. 

Louis offers advice from the numerous pregnancies he’s watched his mom complete. He notices how Harry moves protectively of his back and immediately lays Harry down for a massage and afterwards a hot water bottle. They order a pizza (Harry informs him that there’s been no odd food combination cravings as of yet, but like any college student he’s happily been eating pizza 4 nights of the week) and lay in bed discussing everything from names to which sex they think the baby is. The conversation is kept light, and any time the pair veer towards Louis’ job, or how they’ll combine their households the conversation is quickly halted with kisses and more talking about Harry’s pregnancy symptoms and cooing over his bump.

*****

Harry’s advisor takes the news of Harry forgoing a thesis seminar with trepidation. He concedes after Harry agrees to biweekly progress meetings. Harry thanks him profusely and promises to stay on track.

“You know, Harry, everyone in the department is here for you. You’ve been our star student these past four years, and everyone is rooting for you” Harry smiles at his advisor’s kind words. “Everyone here knows that you are going to excel in your career and with that little one.”

Harry cradles his belly and replies “Thanks, I know it’ll be difficult, particularly when the baby’s little but it’ll be worth it.”

“It certainly will”

“I, uh, haven’t been completely honest about why I want to change seminars.” Harry and Louis had discussed coming clean to Harry’s advisor, a fan of both Harry and Louis they aren’t worried about him causing them too much trouble. And, technically, no laws have been broken. Without tenure Louis is concerned for his job, but the truth will come out long before his tenure hearings regardless. So they’ve decided to move forward so Harry’s advisor can offer him the best support possible.

“Well, Harry, If there’s something else stopping you other than the time of the class, I’d love to know, we can always work something out. We’re here for you, giving us all the information helps me help you.”

“Louis” Harry pauses “Dr. Tomlinson, he’s the father of my baby. We’re together. He can’t be my professor.” The look on Dr. Lewis’ face is stunned, and his silence is concerning to Harry so he continues to ramble. “We didn’t know when we first met, we had no idea, I promise. Decided not to see each other again as soon as we figured it out.” 

“That’s some big news.”

“Louis’ been great, he’s not a bad guy, he didn’t force me, I promise, he’s done absolutely nothing wrong, we had no idea who each other were.” 

“I believe you Harry, given that you’ve told me, you’re of age, and you’re withdrawing from his class it should all be fine.” Dr. Lewis’ words calm Harry significantly. “And, Harry, I believe everything you’re saying about Louis being supportive. I still need to acknowledge that as a professor here, he still has a level of power over you, even if he’s not your professor. If anything about your situation changes we are here for you, so please come to us.”

“Thank you, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. We had just decided that we couldn’t pursue it then I found out I was pregnant. He didn’t even know til’ last week. It’s just all been so chaotic and stressful, I really like him and he’s been nothing but supportive since I told him and I wouldn’t forgive myself if this ruined his life.”

“No one’s life is going to be ruined if everything holds, the department won’t love this development, but it will all be okay.”

*****

January 28th - 23 weeks

“Let me get that, love” 

“I’m pregnant not an invalid, I can carry my own bag.” Harry’s normally more receptive to help, but today he just wants to be left alone, so louis chooses to walk to his car in silence, only offering the sound of the radio on the car ride.

They’ve been spending more and more time together, mostly at Louis’ apartment, getting to know one another and figure out how they’re going to fit their futures together, plus one. It’s Friday afternoon and they’re planning to head to Doncaster together. Louis has already informed Jay (and by extension the rest of his family), but he also wants Harry to meet them.

“Can you pull over at the next gas station?” It’s half an hour into the three hour drive, and the first either has spoken since entering the car.

“Sure love” Louis decides to let Harry continue as he wants without pressuring him into further conversation. 

“We need to talk about what happens when the baby’s born.”

“I’d like you to move in with me.” Louis reiterates from their conversation weeks ago in Harry’s apartment. “I’ve got a spare room that can become a nursery, though I always liked the idea of the baby staying in our room at first.”

“My lease runs through the school year, I could try to get out of it earlier?” Harry looks hopefully at Louis waiting for a positive reaction before continuing “I want the baby in our room.”

“Why don’t we see what your landlord says, worst comes to worst you’ll be staying with me most nights and still just have the apartment on paper. It’ll waste a bit of money, but we could look into subletters or something.”

“How’s money gonna work next year?” They’ve been splitting things as they go, with Louis picking up a bit more than Harry (mostly because he’s the one doing the late night food runs). Louis has no plans to ask Harry to pay towards rent at his place, and he figures they’ll work out the furniture and other baby expenses together. 

“Figure you’ll go back to work or school when you’re ready, and I’ll cover the expenses. I’m already paying rent and utilities at my place, we won’t live like kings but we can share the car and eat out less and we’ll have more than enough to make things work.” Louis knows that Harry’s concerns extend past that, Harry’s excited to cherish this baby but he also wants a career. A few professors in the department have already confirmed that Harry will be a welcome addition to their research staff, meant for editing papers and doing some smaller side projects, finding grants and the like. The pay won’t be too glamorous, but it will help his graduate school applications and provide a little money them.

Louis’ pulling into the gas station, which frees them both of the weight of the conversation, and Harry’s quickly walking towards the restroom as Louis takes the opportunity to top of the car’s tank.

Once they’re both sitting back in the car Harry turns to Louis, kissing him gently before saying “Thank you for being here, I’m so lucky it was you. We need to go over the numbers for real when we get back from this weekend, figure out our budget for things like diapers and eating out, but I’m so glad the man I got pregnant with is so caring and generous, and that I get to be in love with him.” 

Harry hadn’t meant to let that last bit slip out, but the worried look on his face is erased as soon as Louis returns a “I love you too, Harry. We’re both so incredibly lucky to have each other and this little one on the way.”

They continue to talk about nursery ideas and whether they’d prefer a boy or girl while they drive the remainder of the way to Doncaster.

*****

“You must be Harry, oh what a lovely little belly you’ve got.” Jay’s barely hugged her son, clearly more interested in meeting the man carrying her grandchild.

“Hi, you must be Jay, or Ms. Deakin?” Harry’s out of his element, doesn’t quite know what to do or say. 

“Jay” she says firmly “Let’s get you inside and to a seat.” Harry nods gratefully, looking forward to something more comfortable than the less-than-forgiving car seat.

Once they’re seated with freshly brewed tea Jay begins asking for details about the pregnancy. She’s up to date on the fact that Harry is a student at the university, that they aren’t out as a couple to many people, and that Harry is a bit freaked out at the moment.

They’re talking about Harry’s morning sickness and cravings when the door options and two young teenagers are instantly complaining about their science test. Harry believes that it’s Daisy and Pheobe, because Lottie is at university and Fizzy at boarding school. But he could have the names mixed up. As soon as they’ve spotted the guests they take a seat and similarly ask for all of the details on their niece of nephew.

Harry is comforted by the abundance of love and affection in this family, especially towards his baby. He just wants his child to be loved, know how safe and wanted it is in this world. He couldn’t ask for anything better than the Tomlinson-Deakin bunch. 

Harry is absolutely delighted at Doris and Ernest’s presence. They’re just in that stage between being toddlers and being little kids, and as soon as Dan brings them in Harry is doing something to engage them. They’re giggling messes by dinner time completely enamoured with their new brother. Jay’s been grateful for the time to catch up with her first born, she knows first hand how stressful it is to have a baby unexpectedly, especially with such a new partner and she wants to be involved. 

The entire family is used to “the pregnant person chooses dinner” after so many of Jay’s pregnancies while she was also the main homemaker, so Harry chooses the dinner, they go out to Chinese. It’s a new, but strong, craving of Harry’s and Louis is more than happy to oblige.

Harry’s having chest pains once they’ve returned and settled in for tea back in the Deakin living room. The big kids are doing homework in their rooms while Dan is putting the little ones back to bed. Which is good because Harry’s having a bit of a freak out of the chest pain.

“I’ve just not felt anything like this before. Do you think something’s wrong with the baby? Should we go to the ER?”

“Mum’s a midwife, let’s get her opinion.” Louis reasons, though he’s not far from shipping Harry off to the ER where they can conduct all of the tests and confirm that he’s 100% healthy (and in turn happy).

“Well, Harry, can you tell me where the pain is?” Harry responds to Jay by pointing to the left side of his chest. “What about a description?”

“It’s like a burning, pretty constant but sometimes worse, lots of pressure right there. Is it bad?”

“What kinds of things have you been eating, particularly more recently with your pregnancy?”

Harry is now freaked out that he caused this, so he racks his mind for everything he’s eaten in the past month “Uh, mostly pizza, to be honest, though I usually try to get in a vegetable like broccoli or green beans. Usually oatmeal for breakfast, berries, honey, tea. I’ve been sticking to bland foods because it helped with the morning sickness at first and I never really stopped even in the second trimester.”

“I’m gonna say this is just heartburn from the Chinese food, love, we’ll find you some antacids. Why don’t you just lay back on the couch while we look” There’s a massive look of relief on on both Louis and Harry’s faces. Though they both feel a little naive. Of course it was heartburn, Harry should really just feel lucky that he’s not had enough of it to recognize the signs. 

Jay returns with a large bottle of tums just a few minutes later. Harry cuddled into Louis’ arms as they feel the baby kicking and turning. Now that they know the chest pain is nothing, it’s easier to relax and enjoy the moment. 

The adults talk for another hour, before realizing how tired they all are decide to go to bed a bit early. The kids in the house ensure an early wake up, even on Saturdays, so sleep is precious.

*****

February 1st 24 weeks

“She’ll be a bit rough at first but she’ll come around.” Louis doesn’t look appeased at Harry’s words, but he’ll be meeting Anne either way this evening.

“Happy Birthday” Anne envelopes Harry into a hug before pulling back to say hello to his bump. Louis stands by awkwardly waiting his turn.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Twist” he extends a hand to shake her, wanting to do everything perfectly. He knows that Harry’s biggest stressor right now is his mum and his relationship, and Louis needs to do everything in his power to reduce Harry’s stress in the coming months.

“Yes, you as well, Dr. Tomlinson” there is a bit of hostility behind her voice upon the word “doctor” but Louis takes it in stride.

“It’s Louis” his tone is friendly but his nerves are clear. “Let’s get to the table, the reservation was for 6:30.”

Conversation flows but the awkwardness never fully leaves. They talk about the baby and Harry’s pregnancy. Anne lets her fierceness recede a bit when she hears Louis talk about his siblings and how excited he is to have those experiences with his child.

“Well, that was a lovely evening.” Harry is opening the door to his apartment to welcome his mom and Louis in.

“It was, I’m so glad to see you so happy” Anne’s smile looks genuine, she’s still not thrilled with the entire situation, but each passing minute it gets better.

“Why don’t you two take a seat while I get the dessert plate.” Louis knows they ate cake at the restaurant, but he could also tell that it didn’t entirely meet Harry’s new ravenous appetite. 

“Oh dear please don’t go through the effort on my account.” Anne responds.

Harry offers a quick “I’d have sometime small” before looking at Anne to say “Baby’s got me eating every hour during the day, sometimes demands two midnight snacks. Total miracle I’ve only gained 15 pounds so far” with a quick smile and pat to his belly once he’s lowered into his chair.

“Well, a dessert plate it is.” Anne says as she places a pillow behind his back before taking her own seat.

****  
February 28th - 28 weeks

It’s about an hour passed Louis’ normal return time, a stirfry going cold on the stove when Harry is deciding between appearing nagging and knowing where Louis is.

Louis’ contact is opened to make the call when his phone starts buzzing with an unfamiliar number.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Harry Styles speaking?”

“Yes, May I ask who’s calling?”

“This is Nurse Smith, from Manchester Hospital, a Louis Tomlinson listed you as his emergency contact on an intake form.”

Harry feels the tears pooling in his eyes, giving his belly an extra rub as he tries to form a response. “What’s happened?”

“There was a minor car accident, Louis is stable and up in X-Ray, but he’s requested you come to the hospital”

“I’ll be right over, what department should I go to? Does he need anything from home?” 

“Patients are often comforted with a familiar pillow and he might need a fresh set of clothes, darling, you can ask for his room number at the emergent entrance.”

Harry tries to move after the conversation ends but can’t, feels stuck in place and just wants to turn the clock back 2 minutes to before the phone call. But right now he needs to collect a pillow and change of clothes for Louis, his wallet, and call a taxi. 

*****

Louis’s lying in a hospital bed, arm in a sling and stitches on his forehead. Harry dumps the pillow in the nearest chair before going over to the bed, waiting for a sign that Louis is awake. A half hour later, Louis begins to stir.

“You scared me.”

“I scared myself, too.”

“I really love you. Like I felt my heart stop for a few seconds, I don’t know what I would have done.” Harry is actively crying now, leaned over Louis’ bed trying to hug him in a way that doesn’t jostle his disabled arm, but maneuvering around Harry’s belly is also proving to be a challenge to the couple.

The doctor interrupts this moment to inform them that Louis’ shoulder is dislocated and he has a concussion severe enough to warrant overnight observation. After some back and forth, it’s agreed that Harry will stay the night if the hospital can provide a cot, an extra pillow, and the cafeteria a decent dinner.

An hour later they’re eating dinner cobbled together from the best looking of the cafeteria food, trying to plan out the next few weeks.

“They’re saying my shoulder should be all good within the month.” Louis says before feeding Harry a piece of his granola bar.

“What about your head?” Harry asks as he thumbs along the bandage.

“Should heal up within a week or so, concussion should just be a few days. I was pretty lucky.”

Harry wakes up the next morning stiff and miserable, the cot a poor substitute for a bed even if Louis had readily offered the pillow brought from home. After several false starts at standing up he’s able to move towards the restroom.

As he’s returning to the room, hand diligently massaging his lower back, Louis is just started to wake up.

“How are you feeling? Head still hurt?” Harry is carefully lowering himself into the armchair, grateful for the pillow providing a bit of lumbar support.

“Hurts a bit, but much better than yesterday. Thanks for staying, I know it must’ve done a number on your back.”

“It’ll survive, I’m just glad I got to be with you, I really didn’t want to be alone last night.”

*****

Upon arriving home they quickly settled in bed for a much needed nap. They hadn’t intended to sleep for so long, but now it was nearing the time Harry usually went to bed and stomachs were rumbling.

“Let’s just order a pizza, quick and easy.” Louis suggests, knowing how much Harry has been craving pizza throughout his pregnancy.

“I’d kind of prefer something else, honestly.” Harry sounds like he’s about to cry, he knows a pizza makes the most sense, but right now the thought of it is making him slightly nauseous. 

“Hey, it’s alright.” Louis wraps his good arm around Harry and pulls him in to kiss his temple. “Let’s look at the delivery options and find something that sounds good to the baby.”

The next week is challenging. Louis has never had to function through an injury before, he gets nervous in the shower and getting dressed is a nightmare. They rely on delivery a bit more than normal but it helps them get a little more comfortable with one another and able to see a life full of ups and downs that they’ll work through together.

*****  
March 14th - 30 weeks

“Congratulations love, sling free” Harry leans over to kiss Louis in the doctor’s office.

“Yes, you’ve been a model patient Louis, though I hope I don’t see you again soon.”

“Hoping for the same.” Louis responds, reaching out to shake the doctor’s hand. 

It’s two weeks after the accident and Louis’ shoulder and head both have a clean bill of health. Jay was frantic upon hearing the news, but wasn’t able to visit the past weekend due to Dan being out of town for a conference. She’s decided to make it up for this weekend instead.

“Darling, you look good, are you good? I know you had a concussion.” Jay is talking a mile a minute and still has not lead Louis out of her grasp.

“Mum, I’m fine, shoulder and head are both healed.” He kisses her cheek before continuing. “I love that I get to see you, but you really didn’t need to come.”

“Well, I didn’t just come to see you.” Jay admits, looking a bit sheepish. “Why don’t we head out to the car for a bit?”

“Mum, what did you do?” Louis is very skeptical.

“Just come, dear.”

Inside the car is the nursery furniture bought specifically for the youngest twin’s room. Jay had Louis when she was so young that the nursery furniture had been mismatched hand me downs. The sentimentality of having housed her first born had made her want to use it for her next four children. After the older twins had been born the furniture had been passed on to one of her patients whose parents weren’t supportive. Ernie and Doris had come along a few years later, and Jay was able to get a matching set worthy of a magazine ad. While originally sad that she would only see two children through the set, she was glad to pass it along for her grandchild.

“Mum, I can’t believe, thank you.” He goes to hug her “Thank you, you are amazing.”

“It’s a pleasure, Louis, not like Dan and I will be needing it again, I’m just glad you’ll use it and love it too.”

Louis’ shoulder is still a bit tender, but he and his mum work with a rolling cart and an elevator to get most of the furniture upstairs. They want the baby in their room for the first few months, so having two cribs is incredibly helpful to have both the nursery and their room available to their child. They don’t make it to assembling the furniture just yet, but having this crossed off the baby preparation list is a huge relief.

*****

“Hi” rings out Harry’s voice, he knows Jay was planning on making a trip and he wants to confirm her presence.

“Hi love, how was Niall?” Louis calls back from the sofa.

“He’s good, glad we’ve officially told him he’s the godfather. Your mum here?”

“In here, Harry” calls Jay’s voice.

“Hi Jay” Harry says as he walks into the living room, walking over to hug Jay. The baby’s kicking up a storm at her voice, so Harry places her hand near where his baby’s feet are assaulting his ribs.

“Wow, haven’t felt that in a long time.” Jay is mesmerized, gently moving her hands along the movement.

“This one doesn’t seem to ever stop moving, I’m lucky if I get two hours of uninterrupted sleep.” Harry smiles despite talking about his (rather severe) sleep deprivation. 

“They’ll do that, that’s for sure.” Jay smiles at Harry. “You’ve grown so much since January, must be getting excited, only a few more weeks left.” 

“Two and a half months, we’ve still got a lot we need to do.” The baby’s settled a bit so Harry makes a move to sit down.

“Well, about that, love, mum actually brought us some stuff.” Louis responds from his seat.

“Oh, really?”

“I think you’ll like it, want to go have a look?” Louis gets up from his seat, but Harry looks distinctly unimpressed.

“Your bowling ball sized child is using my pelvis as a pillow and you couldn’t tell me before I sat down?” 

There’s little venom in Harry’s voice, but Louis still responds with a “I’ll go make a hot water bottle, might help after you’ve gotten up.”

“God I love you.” Harry leans further back in his chair, hand on his belly as Jay chuckles a bit at their interaction.

Once they’ve made it into Louis’ office, their future nursery, Harry is mesmerized by the gorgeous wood stain and intricate detailing on the crib, and how perfect the changing table seems. He’s been unenthusiastic about the affordable furniture in the catalogs, so he’s grateful to have the perfect set literally delivered to the nursery.

“Jay, I don’t know how to thank you, this is all amazing.” Harry hugs Jay for what feels like the hundredth time that day. 

“I’m just happy that my grandchild gets to grow up with it” Jay whispers to Harry. 

“I don’t know how we can ever thank you enough.” Harry says from behind his tears.

“I just want all the pictures of this little one, got it?”

“Of course.”

*****

April 6th - 33 weeks

Louis is irresponsible. That much has been made clear through the events of the last year. Most of the irresponsibility, the getting a student pregnant, the fucking of all social norms, he’s incredibly and eternally happy for. Harry is the one. In the big, romantic, boombox outside of the house kind of way. Harry is worth it.

But in this case, Louis’ irresponsibility has extended to the grading of term papers. With Harry thirty-three weeks pregnant these papers just haven’t been quite as important as back and belly rubs, late night naming conversations, and ensuring that Harry had a steady supply of tums within an arm’s reach. And that was just fine until the grading deadline was a menacing two days away. So Louis’ laying in bed hastily grading at 9pm, Harry’s new bedtime. Which is precisely why Harry enters their bedroom with a large yawn and a waddle. Pajama pants resting below his bump and an oversized t-shirt giving his large belly some breathing room, the exhaustion is clear behind the sheen of his pregnancy glow. Louis shifts his arms open to allow Harry to crawl to his side, the pair work to distribute pillows to support his back, tucking one between his legs as Harry shifts his belly onto Louis’ stomach. A groan of relief signals that Harry is comfortable.

“I’ve just got to get through five more tonight, think you can sleep with the light on?”

Harry nods against Louis’ side before responding “You’re my pillow and this is the least my back’s hurt all day, don’t you dare get up.”

Louis smiles and leans down to kiss his forehead “Seven more weeks, love, you’re doing so well”

“Seven weeks is a long time to have your back snapped in half, ribs assaulted, and bladder crushed by an infant.” Harry hadn’t started the sentence with malice. But as he continues the sentence he becomes increasingly emotional about the longevity of the discomfort. His voice wavers at his ribs, and the tears begin as he simultaneously mentions his bladder and feels the ever present pressure indicating another bathroom trip is imminent.

With tears gathering in his eyes he scoots backwards on the bed. 

“Harry” 

“Just let me pee” is rushed from Harry’s mouth, pushing himself off the bed and waddling quickly towards the toilet.

Louis doesn’t know what to do. But he knows crowding Harry right now isn’t a good option, so he turns and hastily writes a B+ on the paper in his hand. A fair grade, he’s fairly confident despite the skimming with which he’d consumed the contents. 

Harry would do pregnancy time and time again, especially if he gets Louis by his side. Particularly if he gets to feel his baby kick, see his stomach push out with his child’s growth, and hear Louis’ secret conversations with them in the early hours of the morning. Despite the circumstances, Harry has never been more in love with anything, he doesn’t regret the pregnancy and the discomforts of the upcoming seven weeks he’d do for seventy to hold his child.

And yet he’s crying, thinking about the back pain, and the never ending bathroom trips. And then he’s crying because he feels terrible, here he is, having a perfectly healthy baby, a loving and supportive partner right in the next room, and he’s upset over some back pain.

“It’s okay to be to scared about what’s to come” Louis’ voice is gentle as Harry makes his way back to the bed, tears mostly dry but his eyes red and swollen, “Your body’s doing an amazing thing right now, but having a whole second being sitting against your bones, growing and moving right there has to be uncomfortable. It’s okay to acknowledge that. The baby’s messing with all of your hormones, it’s okay to be emotional.”

Harry sobs into Louis’s chest and croaks out “How do you always know the exact thing to say?”

A short kiss later, the pair is once again maneuvering pillows to ensure Harry’s stretched body is supported. Louis races through grading the last of the pile, turning off the bedside table light before moving down to Harry’s belly, gentle whispers to the baby about how much they can’t wait to meet him and to be nice to papa lull Harry into his sleep.

*****

May 16th -- 36 weeks

“Let me help you up love” Harry smiles gratefully for Louis not making him ask for help. Louis continues to support his lower back as he walks to the bathroom.

A few weeks ago he had permanently moved into Louis’ after his landlord had allowed him out of his lease a month early upon another interested tenant. Harry had practically been living at Louis’ already, but was comforted knowing that it was official, this was his home.

At this point in pregnancy he’s trying to keep his dignity but it’s increasingly difficult. His back is nearly always painful, working in conjunction with his massive belly to make getting in and out of bed a major task. He spends most of his days propped up against pillows doing work. Frequent bathroom and snack breaks mean that he rarely spends more than half an hour straight working, but he’s productive nonetheless. 

But today is his graduation day, so he’ll be dressing up in a robe, sitting in uncomfortable auditorium seats for an hour, and then spending the remainder of the day at graduation events. He’s not exactly looking forward to it. Particularly because he and Louis are only “out” to a select few, meaning they’ll have to keep a distance.

Harry’s worried, but grateful for Louis’ presence as he steps into black maternity pants and a top, Louis slipping his swollen feet into a size too big loafers and shrugging the robe around his shoulders. Once the robe was zipped around Harry’s belly Louis settles into Harry’s back, looping his arms to rest on the underside, feeling their baby’s movements. 

Louis moved to whisper in Harry’s ear “I’m so proud of you” a quick nip before he continued “You’ve worked so hard and you’ve every bit of praise you get today and more” a gentle belly rub, feeling their child’s head shift against his hand “and you’re giving us the best gift possible in this baby. I’m sorry we can’t be together publicly today, but know that I’m here and supporting you every step of the way. I love you and the life we’re building together.” 

Harry shifts around in Louis’ arms, so they’re facing each other, hands clasped together, “I’m so glad I got pregnant” they laugh together at Harry’s choice of words “I know it’s not the best timing, but I’m so lucky to have this child, even though they demand to sit on my bladder 24 hours a day.”

Louis laughs as Harry takes that opening to waddle quickly towards the bathroom. Once he’s returned to Louis’ arms he simply offers “Gonna miss you today.”

A knock on the door signifies that Anne has arrived for the day’s activities. Harry goes to open the door, immediately drawing her into a hug.

“Harry, you look beautiful, waited a long time to see you in this robe. Can’t believe my baby’s graduating college” she rubs his belly and offers “and having a baby of his own” She kisses his cheek before finishing with an “I love you honey.”

“Anne, so good to see you” Louis knows that Anne still hasn’t fully accepted him. She views him with the level of skepticism that he’s very much deserved. Louis is ultimately glad that Anne loves Harry enough to care, but would prefer to have a better relationship with his partner’s mother and child’s grandmother.

“And you, Louis, so, walk me through today’s events?” Anne is trying, and that much is good.

“Think we could sit down first, and maybe feed this baby?” Harry’s back is already acting up and he has a long day ahead of him.

Anne guides him to the couch as Louis prepares some toast, Harry’s preferred breakfast this late in pregnancy when his stomach has started acting up again. In a few minutes he delivers it to Harry, along with a glass of orange juice and a hot water bottle for his back.

Harry is in the middle of describing the post-ceremony cocktail party, which lasts from 1pm-3pm. After which is Niall and Harry’s joint graduation dinner. Louis will be attending the cocktail party as a staff member, keeping a safe distance from Harry to avoid the condemnation of his colleagues, and he knows he’s not invited to the dinner. He held Harry as he cried about it for hours a month ago as this was all being planned. They’ll soon be able to come clean to their family and friends about the true nature of their relationship, but until Harry has received his diploma and is no longer technically a student of the Psych department, it would be best to avoid raising suspicion. 

After that dinner Anne and Gemma (who’s meeting them at the ceremony) will return to Louis’ for some dessert, and hopefully a grounding conversation about the future. Louis is dedicated to Harry and their child and wants to leave this weekend with Harry’s family trusting him.

Louis sees the time and quickly says “I should get going, staff have to be there a little early. I’ll see you there” He goes to Harry to take his plate, leaning down and whispering “I can’t wait to see you walk across that stage, I love you so so much and am so excited for our lives together.” He nods goodbye to Anne before exiting the apartment.

“He’s your professor, Harry, are you really sure about this?” Anne doesn’t mince words, and Harry places a protective hand on his belly scowling at Anne. “I mean, you can’t even publicly be together today and you’re basically full term with his baby. What am I supposed to make of this?”

Harry’s practically in tears now, he knows his mom means well, but the harshness of her words are hitting Harry right in his own insecurities. “I know it’s all a little backwards. But this baby is coming, mom, and we’re so in love already.” Harry looks his mom in the eye before giving her the next bit of information “And for the record, I would love Louis and want to be with him even if I had never gotten pregnant. This was just a happy accident, even if poorly timed.” Anne’s face softens a bit, but Harry still feels the need to defend his family of destination “I love them both, and I need you to accept that. I know that your concerns are a product of your love for me, but this is the family that I’m choosing to have, I just don’t want that choice to cost me you.”

Anne immediately moves to hug him “Harry you will always have me. I’ll do my best to set aside my reservations. And know that I love this baby so, so much. I’m younger than I thought I’d be becoming a grandma, but this baby is going to be loved and cherished by all of us. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

Harry’s in tears now, so Anne quietly provides him with some tissues before gently recommending that they get down to the auditorium so she can watch her baby graduate college.

The day goes smoothly, Harry’s bladder lasts through the ceremony, the cocktail party was fun even keeping a distance from one another, and the dinner managed to be a great time even with Louis’ absence.

Once back at Louis’ from the events of the day, Anne and Gemma are receiving a tour of the nursery, the furniture now the bones of a gender neutral nautical theme with an anchor bookshelf already full of books and other toys, folded clothes in the dresser, and a mobile from Harry’s childhood nursery hanging over the crib.

Harry’s sitting in the glider with a plate of desserts resting on his bump. He’s very proud of what he and Louis have done with the nursery, and Anne’s genuine praise is affirming for him, so he’s absolutely gleaming with each new compliment. Once Louis has shown every nook and cranny he gently offers Harry help standing up. Once up Harry’s yawn is an undeniable sign that he’s ready for bed. It’s past 10pm after an already long day. 

After goodbyes have been tendered and their guests have left Harry and Louis share a shower. Louis’ presence began as insurance that Harry wouldn’t fall over with exhaustion, though the shared handjobs were certainly a foreseeable bonus.

As they crawl into bed, loose limbed and relaxed, Harry propped against many pillows and wrapped in Louis’ arms he offers a simple “Thanks for being you, I’m sorry my mom is so slow to accept it, but just give her a little time. She loves me and I love you, she’ll get there eventually.”

“I know, love, today was a good day” Louis kisses Harry’s mouth “just one of many that we’ll have.”

They kiss again before Harry offers a gentle goodnight and is snoring just moments later.

They sleep soundly until Harry wakes up at 3am with an urgent need to pee. The urgent need to eat pizza is what causes him to wake Louis as well. Luckily, they live in a college town and there’s delivery readily available at all times of day and night. 

After two slices and Louis have a conversation with his belly Harry is once again ready to sleep. This time it lasts a bit longer.

*****

38 weeks

Harry wakes up absolutely miserable. The nausea of the first trimester has been back on and off for the past few weeks and this morning it’s definitely on. His belly creates a challenge to vomiting that makes him want to cry. And despite the nausea he’s still hungry. Once he’s fairly confident he can handle his daily toast he has Louis make him a few slices and deliver them in bed. 

The added cherry on top of his discomfort is his chest. It’s been sore throughout his pregnancy, mostly just a small annoyance, but today it’s painful. They feel swollen and uncomfortable and Harry knows this is normal, part of the process of lactation, he’s in fact quite glad it’s looking like he’ll be able to breastfeed his child, but the pains of pregnancy are becoming a bit much for him and he’ll be quite glad in two weeks when this is all over.

He’s mostly brushed off the issue of his nipples until Louis is staring intently at them a few hours later.

“Can I help you with something?” Harry inquires. Their sex life has been mostly active since they got together in January, but Harry’s not been in the mood for the past few weeks, and doesn’t anticipate many amorous feelings until he has a little more control over his body. The look on Louis’ face says he wants sex, so Harry is feeling a bit defensive.

“Your, uh, your breast milk seems to have come in.”

Oh. That’s why he’s staring. Sure enough, when Harry looks down his nipples are announced by the dark spots on his shirt. Tears are welling in his eyes “I didn’t know.” He needs to go change, quickly, so he tries to push himself from the couch with little luck. “I’ll just uh, I’ll go get a fresh shirt.” He’s distraught now, unable to focus enough to leverage himself from the couch, he feels trapped and out of control, an animal in the zoo having every inch of his body scrutinized and he can’t even stand up. With tears welling in his eyes, a breakdown feels imminent.

“Love, darling, love, it’s okay. You’re okay. Just breathe.” Louis’ arms are wrapped around him and they’re settled back on the couch. It takes a few minutes of this but eventually Harry’s breathing regulates.

“You feeling better love?” 

Harry nods in response, “Just my body doing more things I have no control over. Guess it’s just part of the pregnancy package.” His tone is rueful, but he’s much calmer than he was a few minutes ago.

“You’re growing our child, everything that your body is doing is helping our baby grow. It’s so beautiful Harry, you’re so beautiful. Don’t ever be ashamed of your body supporting our baby.”

“Thanks, just hard to remember that with all these hormones sometimes.” Harry leans up to kiss Louis’ cheek, “I love you so much, but I’d kind of like to change now.” Harry pushes himself off the couch, with a little help from Louis he’s quickly on his way to the bedroom.

Louis takes the opportunity to grab some of the nipple pads they bought in anticipation of breastfeeding, gently handing them to Harry. “These might come in helpful a little earlier than we first thought, huh?” 

Harry nods gratefully. “At least I’ll be able to go out in public without creating a wet t-shirt contest everywhere.”

Louis grins, gently kissing Harry and whispering “Hey, flaunt it if you’ve got it, just more contests for you to win, really.”

Harry leans into the kiss, shirtless and grateful for Louis’ constant support, he decides sex with Louis wouldn’t be that awful right now, as long as he has a few extra pillows for his back. He deepens the kiss and starts to unbuckle Louis’ pants.

“You sure you’re up for this?” Louis is surprised, but hopeful. He doesn’t want to pressure Harry into anything, but the last few weeks have been a little rough, especially when looking at the medical recommendations directly post childbirth for Harry. 

“Mmmhmmm, just help me get into bed and we’ll find a comfortable position. Hands and knees might work but I’m not sure I can keep it up this far along. Spooning wasn’t that comfortable towards the end last, I’m not sure it’d be best with how much I’ve grown since.”

“You didn’t tell me that?” Louis inquires  
“It was still good, just cramped a bit in my lower back towards the end is all. Honestly existing makes by back cramp at this point.” Harry brushes of his concern, fully in the mood and desperate to find a functional position. “Let’s just try it, if it doesn’t work we’ll just get creative and cross that bridge when we get to it.” He leans back into a kiss, clearly trying to move things along.

Louis catches the small groan as he’s helping Harry onto the bed, instead of pleasure, this seems sourced from Harry’s pain. Instead of moving forward with the plans, he quickly makes up his mind. “Why don’t I give you the best head of your life?”

“What about you?” Harry inquires, though very, very interested in receiving the best head of his life.

“I’ll figure it out, let’s focus on you for a bit.”

Louis’ promise does not fall short. Propped on several pillows, Harry is near sitting up as Louis languishes around his cock, slow, long licks interrupted with fast short ones and hands gently teasing everywhere his mouth wasn’t focused on. Louis finishes by rutting against Harry’s thighs, whispering gently to Harry promises of their future before cleaning them up and setting the pillows for a good night’s sleep.

*****

June 22nd - 40 weeks

It’s two days passed Harry’s due date and he’s ready for the baby to be born. Louis lets Harry sleep as long as possible, bringing him breakfast in bed once he rises when it’s nearing noon. Between cramps and his need to pee Harry had been up every hour until 5am, when he had finally found somewhat peaceful slumber. 

“You think today’s the day?” Louis is kneeling at Harry’s belly to say hello to their child as Harry nearly inhales his breakfast.

“We can only hope. Not that being pregnant isn’t amazing and everything but I’m more than ready to have my body back.”

Louis gives a gentle kiss to Harry’s temple before cuddling as Harry finishes his breakfast.

Once finished Harry heaves himself out of bed (Louis would have been happy to help, but sometimes Harry just needs to prove that he can do something) and the pair settle in doing work on their couch. 

A few hours later the cramping is back, causing Harry shifting uncomfortably on the couch. He lets out a soft moan at a particularly bad one. 

“This it?” Louis voices his concern. 

“Not yet, let’s just see where it goes, they’re really not that bad right now.” 

“Okay, maybe a hot bath for the discomfort?”

“That’d be lovely, think you’ll get in there with me?” 

Twenty minutes later, settled into a relaxing bubble bath, Harry and Louis are feeling their baby kick from the womb as they softly discuss names and if they think it’s a girl or a boy. The pair stay this way for nearly an hour.

“Cramps are mostly gone, must have been a false alarm” Harry informs Louis before continuing “Think we could get out? I’m ready for a snack.”

Louis extricates himself from behind Harry before helping Harry out and into a bathrobe. The pair make their way back to their bedroom, where Harry is deposited onto the bed before Louis searches out left over pizza and a tall glass of orange juice for Harry.

Harry heads to bed early. Louis helps him settle in with a gentle kiss on his forehead before gently whispering “Maybe tomorrow, love.”

Harry nods in agreement, more than ready to have his baby in his arms.

Louis joins him in bed around 10pm, he gently places an arm on the side of Harry’s belly, knowing that any closer will disturb Harry’s precious sleep, but needing some contact throughout the night.

A few minutes later, Harry starts shifting and moaning in his sleep, Louis’ concern grows as he feels a tightening under his hand where it lies on Harry’s belly. He’s in labor, finally.

Harry’s going to sleep for as long as he possibly can through the contractions, Louis’ been through this with his mom enough times to know that the sleep he’s getting is the most important thing to Harry right now. Their hospital bag is on the floor by the door, triple checked by both of them, there’s nothing more Louis can do right now so he tries to fall asleep. 

He feels the tightening about half an hour later, Harry once again moaning in his sleep. Louis is relieved as Harry seems to return to his dreams when the tightening eases. They come infrequently for the next two hours, feeling the fifth one at 11:50pm (at a pace of 20 minutes) Louis finally succumbs to sleep, excited for the day ahead.

Harry wakes up to bad cramps a few hours later. It’s just before 3:30am and he feels absolutely miserable, belly sore and tight, back tense, and bladder feeling about to explode. He eases his aching body from the bed with a deep sigh and waddles towards their ensuite. He’s on his way back to bed five minutes later, belly pushed out by his hands supporting his lower back, when he feels his pajama pants dampen as his stomach cramps more severely than he’s ever felt before. He tries to call for Louis but can’t form words through the pain, only a deep moan.

“Louis” he got out after the cramping had subsided.

“What?” Louis’ sleep addled voice got out.

“It’s time, my water just broke.” 

With that Louis’ eye shot wide open, remembering the contractions the night before. “Okay, let’s head to the car, love. How are you feeling?” He was already sitting up and putting on his t-shirt from the day before.

“Like I’m in labor, and need to change my pants.” Fear of the upcoming hours is evident in Harry’s voice so Louis races to his side.

“Oh love, you’re going to do so great today, and we’ll be holding our baby at the end of it.” Harry seems more at ease after some contact with Louis so they move forward, Harry dropping his pants to the ground before stepping out of them and going to the bathroom to clean up a bit.

Louis is ready with fresh pants and some extra comfy pajamas for Harry when he returns. Louis’s now fully dressed with their hospital bag, phone, and charger waiting to be grabbed from their bed.

“I texted your mum, no response yet but I’ll call her from the hospital if she’s not responded yet.” As if on cue, Louis’ phone buzzes. “Ah, she’ll be at the hospital in two hours, she sends her love.”

They get Harry dressed in silence, Louis taking a moment to think about the day ahead.

Louis is a bit disappointed that his mom isn’t invited to the hospital, and that he and Anne are on friendly, but not enthusiastically so, terms. He’d always hoped that he’d have a good relationship with his in-laws, but he guesses that’s what he loses by knocking up a student, no matter how much he loves that student. And his own mom was understanding, having labored enough to understand why Harry didn’t want a crowd in the waiting room. 

“Ready, love?” Harry sounds impatient, but it quickly turns to a deep moan as another contraction racks his belly. Louis holds him, offering pressure on his lower back and supportive statements in his ear.

“3:45” Harry gets out “ten minutes apart.”

“Let me get that app open so we can monitor them on the way to the hospital” Louis reaches for his phone to get ready to enter the next one before they make their way out to the car.

It’s 3:52 the next time Harry’s belly seizes up, they’re at a red light waiting to get on the highway, so Louis holds Harry’s hand as he tries to breathe through it, overwhelmed with pain and needing desperately to be in a more comfortable position, the contraction is by far the worst one Harry’s had so far.

“We’ll be there soon love, get you checked out able to move around a bit, work with the pain rather than being trapped by it.” Harry smiles gratefully at the evidence that Louis had, in fact, been paying attention when he talked about his birthing classes and how he wanted to labor. 

“And Harry, I know that you want to do this naturally, and I’m 100% behind you, but I’ll still be 100% behind you if labor is different than you expected and you decide on a different route for pain management.” Louis takes Harry’s hand and kisses hit. There’s a lot about epidurals that Harry doesn’t like, and he’s been against it since his doctor first asked him about his birth plans. But Harry’s still glad that he has Louis’ support, so he just smiles gratefully and rubs at his belly hoping it will ease some of the soreness, despite knowing the long day ahead of him.

The next contraction takes him by surprise 4 minutes later. They’re just about to reach the exit for the hospital and Louis has to focus on driving. Harry had been able to talk through the last few contractions, but this one he was screaming and moaning through, shifting his hips but unable to find any relief. It’s the worst minute and half of Harry’s life and he’s never been so relieved to find that they’ve arrived at the hospital as he’s catching his breath.

“They’re about four minutes apart, were ten apart when we he woke up about half hour ago.” Louis quickly tells the intake nurse, hoping how quickly this labor has escalated will encourage them to take Harry to a room immediately. “I can fill out the paperwork while he gets situated.”

Louis knows it’s a long shot but worth trying, unfortunately the nurse responds with a terse and impersonal “You’ll need to have the paperwork filled out before we admit your partner.” Louis takes the clipboard from her extended arm without further acknowledgement.

“You want to sit down or are you more comfortable leaning against the counter?” Harry had been miserable sitting in the car, perhaps more room to rotate his hips would make the next contraction more bearable. 

“Just wanna stay here, maybe some water?”

Before Louis can respond Harry is groaning under the pain of the next contraction. Louis supports him through it before quickly filling out the paperwork and impatiently demanding that Harry be taken to a room.

At 4:30am, Harry’s being examined by a doctor, Louis has opted to stay by his head quietly kissing and whispering supportive things in his ear. He knows Harry is uncomfortable, not just because he’s in labor, but because of the whole situation and the constant invasions to his privacy. Harry had underestimated his comfort with allowing a partner too see him intimately prodded and handling the worst parts of a debilitating labor. Last fall he’d wanted so badly a partner through the pregnancy, and he’s always wanted kids, but Harry and Louis were thrust into this situation as a product of the baby. They’d both envisioned it the other way around. Falling in love and becoming comfortable around someone and then having a baby. Neither of them would trade these last 10 months for the world, there’s just some things made awkward by how new their relationship is. 

As a result Louis has been careful not to ask for too much. Harry had said he only wanted Louis and his mum in the room (while Louis wanted Harry to be done with the pain shortly, he still very much wanted Anne to be able to arrive in time), and he hadn’t pushed. Harry also seemed uncomfortable with the blood and reality of childbirth, and had nearly cried when told of the likelihood of completing a bowel movement before their child is brought into the world. Louis was quick to assure Harry he’d stay close to his head, there’d be no mirrors and no matter what happened he’d always love Harry, there was nothing to be ashamed of when bringing a child into this world.

“Well, you’re at 6 centimeters Harry, making really good progress, your water has broken and you’re contractions are regular, now it’s just about monitoring your progress and managing your pain.”

Both are reassured by the doctor’s lack of concern over the whole situation.

“You were interested in the birthing ball a few weeks ago, want to try that for a bit?” Harry looks distinctly interested from his spot on the hospital bed, monitor around his belly and an IV line in his arm ready to be used when needed. 

“Can you help me get to it before the next contraction?” Harry looks desperate not to labor through another one in his current position. They’re coming every 3 to 4 minutes at this point and the ability to rotate his hips and put pressure on his lower back are the biggest pain relievers. In bed he relies mostly on squeezing Louis’ hand, which just isn’t enough at this point.

Louis and the doctor rush to help Harry out of his bed and over to sit on a birthing ball, Louis on a chair facing him. Harry drapes his body over Louis’ chest, and in turn Louis wraps his arms to provide gentle massages to Harry’s back. They sit like that for twenty minutes before Louis requests a hot water bottle to help Harry through the contractions, which are now happening more often than not. Harry’s getting desperate for pain relief but still refusing an epidural.

Anne arrives shortly before 6am, complaining about traffic towards the end of the drive. Knocking on the door she enters right as Harry’s been moved back to the bed for another dilation check and is suffering through an update.

“Harry, you’ve progressed to 7 centimeters” Harry looks incredibly upset at this news, but takes it in stride.

“Can I try the tub? The contractions are getting pretty bad and the water might help.” Harry’s voice is beaten down, upset, and frustrated. He’s been in active labor for 2 hours now, and he knows that’s not that long, but he’s in pain and an hour of contractions every 3 minutes could have dilated him more than one extra centimeter.

“Oh darling, such an exciting day” Anne kisses Harry’s cheek as Louis takes a step back to let the mother and son reconnect, and to prepare the pool for Harry.

“You did this twice?” Anne laughs at the horrified look on Harry’s face.

“Totally worth it, I promise you.” Harry smiles and rubs a hand on his belly.

“I think it was all worth it just to feel one kick, can’t wait til I’ve got this one in my arms.” He sounds out of breath and then begins to moan at the build up of yet another contraction.

Once the pain as subsided he gets out a short “Hopefully in my arms soon. Think I can finally get in that tub now?”

At that Louis returns to the bed and gently eases his body up and over the pool which he’d prepared. 

Harry isn’t prepared for overlapped contractions. The last one hasn’t yet subsided and he feels the next one knock the breath right out of him. He tries to scream but instead vomits all over the pool and Louis. There’s been a lot of bad moments in the past four hours of laboring, but waiting out the rest of the contraction before cleaning up takes the cake. As soon as his pain is relieved enough Harry begins to sob. Louis takes it all in stride, asking Anne to call a nurse to help move Harry first to the shower then the bed. He quietly changes his own shirt before returning to his post right beside Harry, offering pressure to his back on yet another contraction. 

“I can’t do this” Anne walks to the bed as she hears Harry begin to break down. “I need the epidural get me the epidural.” Harry’s frantic and this point and they need to help ground him and control his breathing.

Louis has been supportive throughout the labor, and both he and Anne know how much Harry was against the epidural, so they both ask if he’s sure. To which Harry’s response is to cry and shake his head before tensing in pain again.

This contraction feels different to him, though, the pain more severe, centered in his pelvis rather than his belly. “Get the, mmgghhhh, get the doctor” he spits out before going back to moaning through the pain. 

“Looks like we’re fully dilated, here” the doctor’s words bring smiles to the other three faces in the room. Harry looking like he might cry of joy. “You’re going to continue to get contractions, there’s going to be pressure in your pelvis, Harry, listen to your body and push when you feel the need, it’s okay if you don’t feel it for a while, just do as your body tells you.”

Harry nods in response, too tired and sore to form words. Louis has been feeding him ice chips constantly but he feels dehydrated and lethargic, solidly not ready to embark on the pushing stage of labor. Luckily, the doctor seems to have picked up on this and continues “I’m going to get you on saline, just to boost your fluids and electrolytes. It’s going to tie you the IV, but it will give you a little leg up for the next part.” Harry nods gratefully.

“I’d also like you to wear an oxygen mask for a bit, just to support your breathing and ensure you’re getting enough oxygen.” That scared Harry, his eyes widening as he worried about depriving his baby of oxygen right now. The doctor was once again perceptive, and quickly said “It’s more precautionary than anything, Harry, we’ll see where we are in half an hour and if it’s still needed. You’re doing great, your baby’s heart rate is strong and that little bundle of joy should be here in a matter of hours. This is all going as well as can be expected, Harry.”  
Hooked up now to an IV and an oxygen mask, strapped into a fetal heart monitor Harry felt a world away from his water labor just half an hour ago and more anxious than ever to move labor forward. He suffers through contraction and contraction, pressure building at his pelvis but a need to push not fully arriving until about 45 minute later.

“Aaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhh” is all that can be hard past his oxygen mask as he bears down with all he has. Two hours and countless pushes later, he sees the doctor pull his child out, a nurse ready with a towel and within a minute it’s on Harry’s chest.

Louis leans down, enamoured with their child. “Girl or boy?” Louis asks, chin against Harry’s shoulder and eyes locked on his baby.

“A perfect little girl.” the doctor supplies, and Harry and Louis both let out their breaths.

“So perfect” Harry can’t really form words right now, too busy memorizing his daughter’s face.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are incredible and I’m so lucky to have you both in my life.” The words are meant for Harry, but Anne hears and clearly softens her face towards Louis. 

The doctor interrupts the family moment by inviting Louis to cut the cord, which he does eagerly. Right as the doctor is pulling the cord away from his daughter’s small body, Harry feels another cramp coming along. “What’s wrong, why am I feeling more contractions?” 

“You’ve just got to deliver the placenta, does grandma want to take the baby for a few minutes so you can focus?” The doctor directs as Harry reluctantly relinquishes the baby, but not before places lots of kisses to her tiny scrunched forehead. He already misses her, which just gives him more motivation to get this placenta out of him. 

A few pushes later and his little girl is back in his arms, cleaned and freshly swaddled, she has a clean bill of health and weighs in at a perfect 7 pounds 3 ounces. A nurse comes by half an hour later to help Harry through the first feeding. It goes okay but will need to improve throughout their hospital stay in order for a strong start to breastfeeding at home.

“Harry you must be famished, love, what can we get for you?” Anne asks once his baby’s feeding session is over and she’s noticed it’s nearing noon and Harry’s been laboring all morning with nothing but ice chips to sustain him. 

“Sushi.” Harry takes no time to answer, which causes Louis to laugh fondly. Harry’s been eating cucumber avocado rolls nearly as often as he’s been eating pizza, but they just haven’t been what he’s wanted. “Salmon and tuna rolls.” He clarifies, lest his mom deliver more of the vegetable rolls. 

“Will do, have this precious granddaughter or mine named by the time I get back.” and with that Anne is off.

“Still good with Anne for the first name?” Harry looks at Louis, knowing his partner and his mom haven’t gotten off on the best foot has stressed Harry out, but he has no doubts that Louis will be family in a few short years. And Harry wants to honor his mom, he also wants a partner who wants to honor his mom.

“Of course love. Still going with a middle name that starts with J?” 

“I love the name Jane but Anne Jane doesn’t sound great.” Harry reasons back.

“Josephine.” Louis says with determination. “Anne Josephine Styles-Tomlinson”

“You like that Annie? Anne Josephine Styles-Tomlinson a great name for a great little girl.” Their daughter is sleeping against Harry’s chest, but they both trust she’ll grow to love her name as much as they do.

****

Their hospital stay is relatively low key. Harry’s gotten a solid foundation for breastfeeding by the time they leave two mornings later. His belly has lost its telltale pregnant shape, but he’s still in paternity clothes and looking forward to his uterus shrinking down further. 

Anne stays for the next week, handling meals and diaper changes and holding little Annie when Harry soaks in the tub and Louis has to work. She’s been a godsend to the young family and Louis has no clue to how to ever show his full gratitude. Well, he does, it’s by being the man she wants for her son, and getting a ring on his finger before Annie’s a big sister. Both things he plans on doing anyways.

*****

They fall into parenthood easily. A good team on nights when Annie is inconsolable and has to be bounced around through the night just to quiet her cries to a non-painful volume. They share the duties and while they’re both sleep deprived, they’ve never been happier.

Louis works from home over the summer, while Harry takes the time off to get into a good routine with Annie’s feedings. He’s glad breastfeeding has worked out for a number of reasons. He loves the time spent with his daughter, and it seems so much easier than struggling with formula and bottle warmers and cleaning everything. 

In the fall Harry begins again as a research assistant, working 30 hours a week on campus around Louis’ schedule, and applying for their master’s program. They have a few trusted babysitters in Niall and and friends here and there, but for the most part Annie is in their care and they couldn’t be happier with it.

Annie is sixth months old when they head north for Christmas, planning to spend Christmas Eve with Louis’ family and head to Harry’s on Christmas morning. Louis doesn’t want to exclude either family from the big moment he has plans, so he ends up excluding both. 

He’d been grading finals up until the wee hours of the 22nd, so Harry had taken over all nighttime parenting duties to allow for Louis to sleep in on Christmas Eve morning. They’ve each done this for each other a few times, though they prefer splitting the nighttime calls, Harry feeding and Louis changing the diapers a bit later. But Louis wakes up on Christmas Eve well rested and feels recovered from the academic semester, and the ring in his pocket weighs at him heavily. 

Walking into the nursery he can’t help but stare at Harry and Annie for a few minutes. Harry’s back in his pre-baby clothes, though he chooses button down or looser shirts to accommodate nursing sessions. They’ve relaxed together in the glider, Annie’s head cradled against Harry’s bare chest as he sings a gentle lullaby. He couldn’t love his family any more. They’re perfect. “Marry Me” he blurts out. He’d had a speech, but that works as well.

Harry turns his head with a questioning look. “Is this…”

“Yes. Marry me. Now. I’ll go to the courthouse this instant. Or next summer, we’ll do a big wedding up in Cheshire, hundred of people, chicken, fish and veal options. Just be my husband.”

He walks over to Harry and takes out the ring. “I had a better speech planned, but I just couldn’t wait to get through it. The past year has been the absolute best of my life, you and Annie and so much to it and our family means everything to me. I know marriage is just a piece of paper, but it’s a piece of paper I want to have with you.”

Harry just leans in to kiss him, careful not to jostle Annie. 


End file.
